Friends versus lovers

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I will hate more than anything to wake up one day and find that I can no longer call you, chat you up, play with you, feel free with you like we used to because you picked romantic interest in me and I turned it down.


It will be so painful to see your WhatsApp story and then after typing a lengthy funny response, I will then pause to think and then go ahead to delete the message on remembering that we are not as we use to be.


It will be sad to soil the friendship we have built over the years because one of us did not understand that God did not put everyone in our life for us to date, no matter how beautiful the friendship might be.


I know there is this pressure to get married from your end but please hold your fire. 


Maybe it is not even marriage pressure. It could be a longing to fish in love waters but we must not fish together. 


You might want to ask 'what then happens to marry your friend?' 


That might be correct. You should marry your friend but  unfortunately, that friend is not me


And this doesn't mean you should shut the door on our friendship. That will be repeating the mistake many other persons are making.


Young folks are missing out on amazing valuable relationships because immediately we get close to someone and start building a beautiful friendship, the closeness can easily be misinterpreted to mean that the other party has feelings for us.


And that can stir us up to want to try and make a move to explore love waters. 


When things don't go as we expect, we start reacting from mismatch or unmet expectations.


And then the 'what are we?' questions will follow.


But I don't understand. I thought we were friends?  Which one is 'what are we?' 


Ain't you supposed to assume nothing until I say something? Abi you're dating me without my permission?


And from experience, almost all the time, this is where we begin to bury opportunities, close important doors, and short change ourselves 


Only to wake up one day to discover we wasted our angels simply because we didn't understand that not all beautiful friendships should evolve into a romantic relationship.


In my opinion 90% of the time, those friendships should stay as just friendships 


History is filled with beautiful friendship stories that turned sour because of this.


Think of some of the most beautiful friendships that lack of discernment made you convert into love affairs.


How did they end?


Sometimes, it wasn't even a heartbreak that happened, maybe both of you just didn't work out and because of that, you have drifted apart. 


You drifted so far apart that the value you would have gained from your friendship has now been truncated.


This is 2022


Don't waste another angel. Be discerning!


Protect your friendships. If a relationship leading towards marriage is what God wants, He will find a way to put the puzzles together, even when you both go ahead dating other people.


Don't immediately turn the next beautiful friendship into a soul mate searching adventure.  Calm down. Your soul mate might still be under a bridge in Ajegunle and perhaps this next friendship is what might connect the dot for you.


Master the act of providing values in your friendship without fantasizing about matrimony and baecation in Maimi.


Value people.


Stick to the purpose of that friendship


Practice self-control


And learn to hold your body


So, my friendship of life, like I  was saying before I got distracted, those your dreams of doing  pyjamas photshot with matching pyjamas, hold  them first. 


It is not me and you that will do that pyjamas shot becasue I don't even like pyjamas😅


And if I have been ignorantly leading you on all the while, please let this note say all the things I am too shy to say to your face.


Yours,

Potential Monk in the monastery.


If this post bless you, please share to provoke sanity for someone else


Walk on gold

Philip Emmanuel

Location: JR2H+RP Fort Peddie, South Africa

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